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the rundown: up on the show tonight

First, we’d be amiss here at Happy Hour — The Show That Never Ends to point out that Wednesday is B-Dub’s birthday!! We’ll take the opportunity tonight to welcome your calls wishing him another year on this earth to give us a drinking game we all can enjoy.

Otherwise … on with the show!

* Your Vote 2008 Extravaganza in which we promise to not talk about candidates! Well, I shouldn’t say promise. I just don’t plan on it being on the list.
* A pharmacy in Virginia is refusing to sell contraceptives of any kind. Hrm. Well.
* The Supreme Court this week will hear a case from our friends at the FCC about “fleeting expletives.” Good thing B-Dub isn’t on network TV.
* 16 Ways to Effectively Manage Your Anger (note to listeners: I’d get the B-Dub Drinking Game refills by this point)
* England wants kids to take sex ed. Play ball!
* Sorry I gave you an STD. Hope this post card takes the edge off.
* Ask A Guy: Six Things Chicks Should NOT Do on a First Date (note to listeners: Holy cow, if you haven’t refilled for the B-Dub Drinking Game, do so now.)
* This week’s news roundup!

We’ll be kicking in the chatroom at our site — click here to enter the fracas — our you can send me a message through the chatterbox you see next to this post. As always, if you want to jump in the conversation, give us a call at 956-790-8255.

We’ll see you tonight at 8 p.m.!


liveblog v. 1.0

Just because I thought this would be fun to test out today …


i’m just sayin’

[10:08] jacquejo01: I hope he does the good thing. It would make me feel like all’s right in the world
[10:11] Juliet: Oh honey, haven’t you realized nothing is right in this world?
[10:11] Juliet: Granted, I don’t know what we’d do if things suddenly started going the way we wanted them to.
[10:12] jacquejo01: Yeah, i’d be alarmed
[10:13] Juliet: We don’t do well when things are all hunky dory and working out. We sit there and wait for the other shoe to drop. Sadly for you lately, it’s been raining shoes.
[10:15] jacquejo01: I know.
[10:16] jacquejo01: I feel like Naomi Campbell’s personal assistant
[10:16] Juliet: hahaha


Reader mail!

Paige from Richmond, Va., writes:

Ed would so try this.

‘Detective’ asks store for free porn 3 times
LONGMONT, Colorado (AP) — A man claiming to be a police detective tried to get an adult novelty shop to give him free X-rated videos, saying he wanted to make sure the performers weren’t underage, authorities said.

He made three tries within nine days last month and was turned down each time. The store manager called police after the third try.

Authorities said Monday that the man showed a badge and left a business card from the Longmont police “age verification unit.” Cmdr. Tim Lewis said there is no such unit.

“It was inventive on his part, I’ll give him that,” Lewis said.

The business card didn’t have anyone’s name on it, but the store gave officers surveillance video of the man. Police are looking for him.


An owner’s manual

Doesn\'t he look innocent?

Doesn't he look innocent?

That’s Walter. One of two feline members of the family. His full name, as it appears on record at the Kanawha-Charleston Animal Shelter, is Walter Sobchak — John Goodman’s character in “The Big Lebowski.” He has many silly nicknames like “Big Boy” and “Balter” and now that we’re Maryland residents, he’s been called “Lord Baltermore” a time or two. He’s also affectionately (… said through clenched teeth) known as “Mr. Wizzer” and “Wu” for his tendency to pee on rugs.

(Is it amazing to me that I can feel your judgment pre-emptively? I haven’t even posted this yet and I already hear you snickering at me and saying in your head, “God, they’re lame.” We are. We know it.)

Since Walter’s been part of the family, he’s gone through bouts of insomnia. This, of course, means the humans in the house go through bouts of insomnia. He was an “owner turn-in” at the shelter, and the woman told me when I adopted him that he got brought in because he was alone a lot and the owners didn’t have time to take care of him anymore. You can interpret this to mean that Walter’s a little clingy. In fact, he’s more like a dog most times than a cat. Our other cat, Inky, just sort of goes about her cat life unaware that there are two humans and another cat in the house. Occasionally, she’ll poke her head around a corner and meow and if she feels really adventurous, she’ll roll over on her side which is her way of saying “pet me, but only until I walk away.”

I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning to Walter — standing on my back — meowing at the top of his lungs. This was this first time this week. Last Thursday, he stood at the foot of the bed, same thing. He walked up the bed and stood at my head and meowed. I told him to go away. Dutifully, he jumps across me and stands in front of Brandon and tries the same thing. Brandon, being a far better person than I am, pet him for a while and then told him to go away.

So, anyway, one of the cool things about my job is that I get a ton of stuff in the mail. Today, I got a book called “Happy Cat Happy You.”

It’s billed as quick tips for building a bond with your feline friend. I’m excited. I’ll be reading this on the train on the way home tonight. I already thumbed through it a little and it looks like there are some fun things in there. I know I’ll never really get to the bottom of why Walter wants us all up and at ’em at 4 a.m., but at least I can feel like I tried. It’s not that he’s hungry or that anything’s wrong. He’s just an insomniac.


Quote of the Day

“Hey! My cell phone’s on vibrate. It scared me! I thought there was an animal in my pants.”
— my boss, who didn’t check his phone after the person he let borrow it gave it back


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I know. Crazy.

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July 2018
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