Archive for the 'dumbasses' Category


what the hell, Kanawha county?

First it was a ham and now it’s THIS?

That’s right. A space heater.

From today’s Charleston Daily Mail:

Man accused of beating estranged girlfriend with a space heater

Doesn’t anybody just beat each other with some good ol’ fashion ambition and a bottle of Old Crow anymore? When did the need for random, ill-conceived objects come into play?


can someone translate?

I found this letter to the publisher on, which is one of my favorite Web sites in the world. It’s based in Hurricane, W.Va., and published by a guy who routinely inserts snide, pointless commentary into his pee-your-pants funny “news” stories (namely against his political “enemies” or anyone he feels has wronged him, and it appears, well, that EVERYBODY has wronged him). It’s not really credible. It’s more entertaining than anything. If you’re in need of a pick-me-up, I highly recommend his questionably-mentally-stable blog about how the city built a Wal-Mart next to his house. (My favorite passage ever is this: A note to politicians: The next time I am awakened at 3:33 a.m. I will consider CALLING YOU TO EXERCISE MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS TO REDRESS MY GOVERNMENT FOR GRIEVANCES… And the First Amendment doesn’t preclude a call at 3:33 a.m. If you continue to allow my family to be disrupted at 3:33 a.m., I will consider calling you THEN and complain. If you don’t like that, at least I am warning you IN WRITING, IN ADVANCE!)

Whaaa? My Constitution must be broken.

(Note to publisher in case you see this and get some bright idea to try to sue me: I have two cats, a busted up Toyota Camry and some broken lawn furniture. That’s about all you’d get out of me. It wouldn’t be worth your time. It isn’t like I’ve got thousands of readers. And, hey, it’s you who puts it out there for the world to read, right?)

So, I saw this letter to the publisher about the mayor of Hurricane, who is one of the publisher’s “enemies” so naturally, it gets published without any efforts to try to track down the mayor’s side. However, because of the absolute trainwreck of spelling and grammar, I can’t really figure out what she’s saying. I turn to you …

Hurricane Mayor Scott Edwards Is A Disgrace
I am ashamed to say that he calls himself the mayor, what a disgrace. This man came flying around the front of Arby’s trying to beat me to the drive thru and came to close for comfort, if I had not slammed on the break, we would have not been so lucky, Saturday Oct. 18th afternoon. I paid no more attention to the idiot until he whipped around the other car that just placed his order and parked caddie corner in front of him. The elderly gentlemen honked his horn (in his head to say move on or what are you doing) But this rude and crude and not so big as he thinks man jumps out of his black shiny Suburban all red face and shouting to this elderly gentlemen who was the driver he jump in front of asking him to step out of the car for a fight, HE WAS THE MAYOR, he said proudly, come on get out here let’s fight. The younger gentlemen that was a passenger stepped out, face to face, nose to nose the big brave mayor only continue to shout, “I’m the mayor, I can have you arrested, You want me to call the cops, I’m the mayor you know, I can do that.” The younger gentleman just stood there face to face saying “Come on, go ahead.”

I was so ashamed of that man being our mayor, I stuck my head out the window and said “If you call the cops on him you better call the cops on me, because you are a disgrace to the city, and you should be ashamed.” All I got was a dirty look.

His wife started howling for him to get back in the car, but he paid no attention to her either, imagine that! Finally his wife hopped out of the vehicle and continually tried to coax him back in the vehicle, which she did succeed.

All this turned out to be was that Arby’s left a few things out of his order. Wow that happens all the time to people, the best thing to do is to park the car walk inside and say excuse me but……… I can’t even imagine what he did or say to that poor young girl at the drive thru.

I’ve been told after telling this story to a few people I know, I have come to find out he’s done this quite a few times at other places. This needs to be published for all to see and then maybe he’ll change his way or best yet he needs to be put out of that position.

Tara Hicks

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.


paging stella liebeck!!!

I mean, COME ON.

Woman sues Starbucks; says scalding coffee, unattached lid caused disfigurement

Well, you know, I figure it’s been long enough for someone to try jackpot justice with this kind of case again. It’s been about 14 years since Stella cashed in on her 49 cent cup of coffee from McDonald’s.

There are so many problems with this girl’s story I don’t even know where to begin … but I’ll start here:

The lawsuit alleges that the 23-year-old Triplett drove to a Starbucks on Kingston Pike on July 13 and bought coffee via the store’s drive-through window. The lawsuit is silent on what Triplett ordered.

Whatever she ordered, she knew right away it was hot, the lawsuit states.

“She experienced extreme heat radiating through the cup and protective cardboard sleeve,” Isaacs wrote. “(She) balanced the extremely hot cup of coffee on her thigh with her hand on top of the cup as she pulled away from the window and negotiated a turn onto the roadway.”

Once on Kingston Pike, Triplett noticed “the lid of the coffee container was loose and not affixed properly,” the lawsuit states.

“Before Triplett could achieve a better grasp upon the cup, the lid dislodged from the cup, thereby causing scalding coffee to spill and splash onto (her) lap, right thigh and right hand,” the lawsuit states.

OK … so she says that right away she knows it’s extremely hot, but then she BALANCES THE F-ING CUP ON HER LEG and DRIVES ONTO A HIGHWAY?? They don’t make parking lots in Tennessee? It would have delayed you so much to put it in park and get that worked out before you head down the road?

I’m a klutz of the highest order, so I can understand the pain of this happening. I spill stuff all the time. I take drinks of hot stuff that are too big. I run into walls. I break things. It’s all part of being a bull in a china shop. I’ve never once thought, “Who can I sue for this?”

Gah. Well, I mean, I’ll give her credit. It’s much less offensive than the idiot in West Virginia who was allergic to cheese going to McDonald’s and then filing a $10 million suit over there being cheese on the burger. (After, of course, he took a huge bite of it in the dark without looking at it first.)

I think what’s going to happen is eventually we’re all going to be forced to wear protective suits and helmets. You laugh, but it’s coming. Living is very hazardous to your health, apparently.

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July 2018
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