20
Jan
09

good morning, sunshine

morningperson

As promised, and brought to you by the power of BlackBerry, here’s a look at my morning trip into Washington, D.C., via Metro rail, Inauguration Day 2009.

“The following events take place between almost 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. … “

5:47 a.m.: WTOP reports that the Greenbelt lot is closed. Left the apartment at 5:30. Still at least two miles from the station. Apparently, this isn’t a WTOP crowd because nobody’s bailing out.

POOL'S CLOSED!!

POOL'S CLOSED!!

5:57 a.m.: Bailout on Greenbelt. Head to College Park.

“It’s 6 o’clock.” Yes. I know, WTOP. I know.

6:23 a.m.: On a downtown bound train after only a two minute wait at the College Park platform. A blonde girl in her black-sequined beret asks female traveling companion if “this hat is too black?” This tells me a lot about today. A lot. Middle-aged white guy tells crowd he’s with about his extensive time in Afghanistan on a peace mission and then says, “We’re going to right a lot of wrongs today.” Yes, Mr. Hip and Trendy Do-Gooder. This inauguration totally fixes both that awful, awful period of slavery before the Civil War and the 1960s. Ass. I absolutely hate this person and I don’t even know him.

6:36 a.m.: Aboard a Red delayed at Fort Totten for a “malfuntioning train” at Brookland (Read some touron got a kid or an arm stuck in the door and now they have to offload the train.). I’ve been pushed out of any way to hold on to anything so I am just going to fall on people for a “teaching moment.”

This train is totally full ... OR IS IT?!!

This train is totally full ... OR IS IT?!!

6:42 a.m.: Finally moving. I have severe, lingering dread about the next few stops, especially because of the pissed off offloaded people at Brookland.

6:47 a.m.: Dear Connecticut High School kids — wait for the next effing train. It’s painfully obvious this one is at 600 percent capacity.

6:48 a.m.: Dear Tourons — Let me help you out: THERE IS NO MORE ROOM ON THIS F@*KING TRAIN. DO NOT EVEN TRY IT. YOU BREAK THESE DOORS, I WILL GET ARRESTED BEATING YOU SENSELESS ON THE PLATFORM. That is all.sadtrombone1

6:51 a.m.: I no longer have to hold on to anything because I am sandwiched between so many idiots who thought packing 400 people onto a single Metro card was a good idea. A woman in a fuzzy hat looks at me and says, “Cheer up! We’re all here for the same reason!” I said “I’m a McCain voter and I’m just trying to get to work.”

6:59 a.m.: Train practically empties by the time I get to Metro Center for people to catch Orange/Blue. I am opting to stay Red and hit Farragut North and some breakfast on the way. Mmm. Bacon.

7:03 a.m. Farragut North: Finally off that disaster. And PETA protestors to boot!! People in furry bunny costumes. Suddenly craving sausage.

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11 Responses to “good morning, sunshine”


  1. January 20, 2009 at 10:35 am

    OMG!!!! Too funny – love the 24 inspired timing – and, didn’t you get the memo – all the people all around the world truely believe that at 1200 hours today, 20 January, world peace exists and all wrongs by the US and anyone living in it are automatically accounted for – the freakin Today show kept showing the people in Kenya having their great big party. VOMIT!

  2. 2 girlofwords
    January 20, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I’m still just looking for one person to tell me where to park my unicorn. He’s getting hungry. I left my Skittles at home.

  3. 3 Ann
    January 20, 2009 at 10:57 am

    Holy Lord.
    Sunshine and lollipops indeed. You’re a much stronger and braver woman than I.

  4. 4 girlofwords
    January 20, 2009 at 10:58 am

    I still think that someone’s elbow is stuck in my spleen, and I might have been molested. I’m not sure.

  5. 5 Ashlea
    January 20, 2009 at 11:49 am

    HATER!!!!!!! Just accept the fact that TODAY is pretty stink’n COOL! LOOK at what is going on out there! I’m very proud to be American today and you should be too even if you made the mistake by voting for McNasty, I mean McCain. You’re just pissed off because you chose to work in the Nation’s capital during an election year…Lol! And because you had to ride the Metro. 🙂

  6. 6 Momma B
    January 20, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    The world will go on just as before. There will be good and there will be bad. Only we will make a difference, beginning with the right attitude, Jacque. I was amused by your writings on the trips home last night and to work this morning. You are a gifted writer. And I think you are an asset to the world of blogging. I am sure you are ready for a new beginning in America. And so are the millions of people who showed up in DC today. President Obama takes office amid a sea of problems and they won’t magically disappear because he was sworn in. It’s going to take time and a new direction. That is what I have confidence in today! Itg is a monumental day. Love, Mom

  7. 7 girlofwords
    January 20, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Ash: Yeah, I would have liked a helicopter. That would have been AWESOME. 🙂

    Mom: I’m not an asset to the world of blogging. There are a million more. Just like me.

  8. 8 Carissa
    January 20, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Your posts have certainly brightened my day! 🙂

  9. 9 Ashlea
    January 20, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    Boo – No ONE and I mean NO ONE can Blog like YOU! You’re the BEST! 🙂

  10. 10 Economic Friction
    January 21, 2009 at 12:21 am

    Spread the wealth. Go to work.

  11. January 27, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    GoDub, if you honestly thought you were one blogger in a million, you wouldn’t bother. At least be honest enough to admit that you have a higher opinion of yourself than that 🙂

    TW


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