Archive for December, 2008


find me a jolly fat man


Happy Hour — The Show That Never Ends is taking tonight off. Even though the Titans won and Jacque’s still got all of her teeth, we’re very busy around the studio getting prepped for the trip to West Virginia.

While we’re gone, you’ll have your chance to catch up. If the family gets to be too much, there will be a very special pre-recorded Happy Hour Christmas bonanza that will play while we’re gone. We’ll be back next Sunday night for our “It’s the End of the Year as We Know It (and B-Dub is probably pissed off)” special.

For those of you traveling, please be careful. We’re really thankful for the audience we’ve built over the last few months in our new setup and I know we’re really excited about what 2009 will bring. This show wouldn’t mean anything to us without you. If we were interested in hearing ourselves talk, we’d just set up a tape recorder at home and play it when we’re bored.

So, to all, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, have a rocking Kwaanza, Eid your heart out and enjoy the solstice. (I think we covered everybody … eeesh.)


life with my sister


A conversation through BlackBerry Messenger:

Ashlea: OK…so this A-HOLE that’s living in our old house is at it again.
Ashlea: He called almost crying that the gas leak wasn’t fixed. But Herb cannot get anyone up to fix it until tomorrow morning!!!!
Ashlea: There’s NO OTHER OPTION. So I told him to get out and get a hotel room and send the bill to me.
Ashlea: Siiiiigh.
Jacque: How does he know it isn’t working???
Ashlea: No…Herb couldn’t fix that part til tomorrow.
Ashlea: So he’s in total panic.
Jacque: Jesus.
Jacque: Was he a Pussy McVagina when you rented to him?
Ashlea: We didn’t know it at the time, but he’s got a bigger vag than Mrs. Duggar.
Jacque: Hahahahahahaha
Ashlea: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Ashlea: That may have been one of the best quotes of my life. 😀
Ashlea: That was clutch.
Ashlea: Seriously. That’s gotta be put on something. Ur blog page maybe.


a d.c. rat


I think I’ve seen this rat in West Virginia. Today, the carpenter’s union paid a bunch of homeless people to parade around across the street in front of a building that presumably uses non-union labor. I’ve heard their drumming for six hours now. I always show up in the middle of the drum solo.


a small break


I thought I’d take a minute to throw a post on my sad, abandoned blog before I finished the second half of my day before starting on the first half of tomorrow and trying to get next week done early … Yes. All of that.

I’ve been so busy lately. I felt a little overwhelmed with it yesterday and this morning, in an e-mail to a friend, I said I was worried I was reaching the early stages of burnout. I just have to forge ahead. I’ll be up for air sometime after the Inauguration.

I’m busting my ass now so I can spend a few days at home with the family. I’m so happy to be going home for a few days. I need the break. I need the time out from DC. I love it here. I really, really love it here. But I think everybody needs an escape.

But for this afternoon, I’ve got two full seasons of “Kitchen Nightmares” on Fancast. Something about Gordon Ramsay dropping the F-bomb (bleeped out, of course) is soothing to me. I finished my column, so now it’s just editing. And lunch. I could really use some lunch.

Sadly, it seems I’ve got more time to post a link on Facebook than I do blog these days. I hope I can fix that soon, because I’d miss this. And Facebook just isn’t a suitable replacement.

But, what’s on your Christmas list this year? I’m delaying the end of my shopping (I’m even trying to go to the inaugural EagleBank Bowl to accomplish this!!) so I’m open to ideas. 🙂


up tonight: the rundown


Ah, kids, only 10 days remain until Christmas Eve. Shopping? What shopping? Well, you still have time to order things online, so why not do that AND listen to us at the same time tonight?

In no particular order, here’s what we’ll be tackling tonight’s edition of Happy Hour – The Show That Never Ends on

* So, we’re sorry your cable box blew up and set your house on fire, but we’re still going to need the $88 for it
* Think you could eat on $1 a day? These people did.
* Hey, let’s go to Google and plan our trip on the D.C. Metro … oh, wait.
* Here’s one black list we all can enjoy — movies that didn’t quite make the cut in 2008. And they say Hollywood has no original ideas!
* Attention Plaxico Burress: “The cat did it” IS a viable excuse
* So the KFC chicken cutlets took a bath in the sink. Wait till you hear what we did during our food service days.
* Stupid criminals, stupid humans, stupid news of the week
* Your calls … anything goes, just dial. It’s 956-790-8255.

We’ll see you at 8 p.m. tonight … we’ll likely have a giveaway or two, so make sure you’re tuned in. Our Big Ass Prize Box is spilling over and we need to make room for new inventory that makes its way here weekly. And, as always, you can hang out with other kids as cool as you in the chat room (click the link on the site. It’s that easy!) or send us a message through the little Chatterbox you see on the page.

Come on. Don’t be the last one that knows what time it is.


monday morning poll (only a week overdue …)

I attribute the high proportion of “Michigan” answers to my West Virginia fan base. 🙂

The new one came as a suggestion from the TypeWriter from a discussion in the chatroom last night while my show was going on. I’m curious how college football fans weigh in on this one.


up on the show tonight: holi-dazed


Here’s what to expect (well, maybe) for tonight’s show:

* Jacque got her first real tree, but it brings up the debate of real vs. fake. Much like boobs, everybody’s got a position on this one.

* OJ Simpson: It’s disappointing that the search for the real killer’s going to be on hold for about, oh, nine years or so.

* Jacque’s probably going to be out of a job soon … Seems every newspaper in the country is falling apart. Why? Should I kill a local blogger? Should I just start blogging more?

* Gift Giving in a recession, worst holiday gift ideas, gift ideas for men.

* Men are dying out. I can’t say that bothers me.

* As always, the ever popular weekly roundup!

Of course, we’re always ready for your calls. The number to join in is (956) 790-8255 or you can interact with us in the chat room (click!) or the little chatterbox on the page!

It all gets started at 8 p.m., so we hope to see you there.

Oh, and Dallas sucks.

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December 2008
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