I mean, COME ON.
Well, you know, I figure it’s been long enough for someone to try jackpot justice with this kind of case again. It’s been about 14 years since Stella cashed in on her 49 cent cup of coffee from McDonald’s.
There are so many problems with this girl’s story I don’t even know where to begin … but I’ll start here:
The lawsuit alleges that the 23-year-old Triplett drove to a Starbucks on Kingston Pike on July 13 and bought coffee via the store’s drive-through window. The lawsuit is silent on what Triplett ordered.
Whatever she ordered, she knew right away it was hot, the lawsuit states.
“She experienced extreme heat radiating through the cup and protective cardboard sleeve,” Isaacs wrote. “(She) balanced the extremely hot cup of coffee on her thigh with her hand on top of the cup as she pulled away from the window and negotiated a turn onto the roadway.”
Once on Kingston Pike, Triplett noticed “the lid of the coffee container was loose and not affixed properly,” the lawsuit states.
“Before Triplett could achieve a better grasp upon the cup, the lid dislodged from the cup, thereby causing scalding coffee to spill and splash onto (her) lap, right thigh and right hand,” the lawsuit states.
OK … so she says that right away she knows it’s extremely hot, but then she BALANCES THE F-ING CUP ON HER LEG and DRIVES ONTO A HIGHWAY?? They don’t make parking lots in Tennessee? It would have delayed you so much to put it in park and get that worked out before you head down the road?
I’m a klutz of the highest order, so I can understand the pain of this happening. I spill stuff all the time. I take drinks of hot stuff that are too big. I run into walls. I break things. It’s all part of being a bull in a china shop. I’ve never once thought, “Who can I sue for this?”
Gah. Well, I mean, I’ll give her credit. It’s much less offensive than the idiot in West Virginia who was allergic to cheese going to McDonald’s and then filing a $10 million suit over there being cheese on the burger. (After, of course, he took a huge bite of it in the dark without looking at it first.)
I think what’s going to happen is eventually we’re all going to be forced to wear protective suits and helmets. You laugh, but it’s coming. Living is very hazardous to your health, apparently.