you can’t make this up

The setup: Vermont Avenue and L. About 1:30 p.m. Me, hands full of various food items from four different places because it’s just that kind of day. Coming out of store with two bottles of diet Mountain Dew to make it through the afternoon. Important to note that I wore a wrap dress and knee high black boots today.

I’m at the corner trying to balance it all. A car pulls up. Gray, nondescript kinda car like a Taurus or something. Two older guys. I should mention when the car pulls up, I’d just dropped a bag and I was doing that and adjusting my boot zipper, which had come down.

“How much?” he said.

I looked at him blankly.

“I’m sorry? What?”

“How much?”

At this point … I’m so confused because in my hands are four different bags, all with one item each, and I’m about to drop my entire lunch contents all over the sidewalk.

“Oh!” I said and looked toward my right hand and lifted the bottle of diet Mountain Dew. “It’s $1.50. You can get it at Vermont International.”

I walked away.

I don’t think that’s what they were asking for, really.

But this did teach me four things today:

1. Carry a dirty hippie sack with me at all times so I can package my lunch into one. Trying to balance more than I can carry is inconvenient and messy. Better yet, just effing bring your lunch from home.
2. Multi-stop lunches were OK in Charleston when everything just went into the car and then back to work. “Stoner lunch,” as we called it, was a fun treat when there wasn’t one specific thing you want.
3. I’m too helpful. I think nothing of giving people directions, handing them a dollar, telling people where they can pick up a Metro and what time the Nationals play today.
4. I apparently look like a total prostitute. I’m not sure if that’s a pro or a con.

I love this place.


8 Responses to “you can’t make this up”

  1. July 24, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Must be something ’bout the way you adjust your boot zipper 🙂

    p.s. A buck-fifty would be off by several orders of magnitude just for your witty repartee alone. Heck, you could get that much by charging people to read the captions in your MySpace photo albums…

  2. 2 Carissa D.
    July 25, 2008 at 9:46 am

    Thanks for the laugh. 🙂 I think I’m a little bummed that this hasn’t happened to me…maybe.

  3. July 25, 2008 at 10:02 am

    TW: Surreal. Just … surreal.

    Carissa: You’re welcome. 🙂 Oh, and it’ll happen some day. When you least expect it. It wasn’t even a good hair day.

  4. July 25, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    I’m cracking up. I hate to point out the obvious, but dude, it’s JULY and you live in DC aka humidity-land. WHY are you wearing BOOTS?!?!? I love how you assumed it was diet mt dew he was inquiring about instead of the plethera of other items you had let alone yourself. I guess the WV girl still has some more to learn about city living… Funny thing is, I probably would have done the exact same thing, minus wearing the boots!

  5. July 25, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    I’ll have you know that knee-high black boots are appropriate for all seasons. 🙂 No matter what you’re wearing, you can make it 100 percent MORE AWESOME with the addition of knee-high black boots. And that’s the truth, sister.

    The city’s an evil place, but I love it. I told Brandon last night that on the off chance that was a DC cop sting, I wasn’t going to say ANYTHING that could have gotten me thrown in the back of a squad car, even in jest. That’s why the diet Mountain Dew was a safe, safe pick.

  6. July 25, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    I’m with you, sister; don’t know why Erin’s trying to hate on knee-high boots. 🙂 After all, half the stuff women wear isn’t practical, but we like how it looks…

    Knowing the current local price of Diet Mountain Dew is always important information, even if you plan on avoiding the substance altogether…

  7. July 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    I probably know the price of diet Mountain Dew in any city, which just makes me sad.

  8. 8 Paige
    July 25, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    Knee high boots are for when you’re hoofing it from the metro to your building when it is 12 degrees outside, and the wind is whipping down between the buildings and you absolutely want to die.

    It’s July for God’s sake. Wear your smart athletic shoes with your dress like every other progressive commuter in the city. 😉

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