Man, I am so tired of being right

Some would describe me as quote-a douche-quote.

Some would describe me as quote -- a douche.

Thank you, television talking head and douche-about-town Robert Novak, for reinforcing my belief that old people have no business behind the wheel.

Columnist Bob Novak Strikes Pedestrian in Downtown D.C.

Witnesses said the collision occurred in slow-moving traffic about 10 a.m. as Novak, 77(!!!!), was headed north on 18th Street NW near K Street in his black 2004 Chevrolet Corvette. D.C. fire department spokesman Alan Etter said the victim is a man in his 60s who was taken to George Washington University Medical Center with “very minor injuries.”

“He’s complaining about some pain in his arm, but there are no visible injuries,” Etter said.

Novak, who was cited for failing to yield a right of way, said in an interview that he was unaware at first that he had struck the pedestrian. After Novak had driven about a block from the scene, he said, he was flagged down by several witnesses, including a bicycle messenger who called D.C. police.

Vegas odds says he knew he grazed someone and left figuring that because he’s Robert (f-ing) Novak, he’d be in the clear.

Sorry, fossil. Better luck next time.

(For even more fun, click HERE to watch WJLA’s exclusive “just after it happened’ interview. *** Now UPDATED to show that the pedestrian is in worse shape than originally thought … and an eyewitness report that he was actually splayed out across Novak’s hood, so it would be about impossible for Douche McFossil to NOT know he mowed him down.***)


9 Responses to “Man, I am so tired of being right”

  1. 1 Paige
    July 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    “He’s not dead, that’s the main thing.” Hahaha Oh, Novak. You slay me.

    Say, did you catch that the reporter was trying to garner sympathy by calling the victim a senior citizen? Gee, do you think that works when the perpetrator of the hit-and-run is 11 years OLDER than said “senior” citizen?

  2. July 24, 2008 at 11:01 am

    … There’s so much that’s just wrong about this, I don’t even know where to begin.

    But yeah, she did totally try to play a sympathy move on him with the “senior citizen” label. You’re right — doesn’t much add up when he’s far more … senior.

    Stop driving. You’re old. You’re rich. You can afford a driver.

  3. July 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm

    You hit the nail on the head, GoDub: Novak can afford a driver. Or Novak can ride the Metro like everybody else in D.C. Mayor Bloomberg rides the NY subway, and he’s a billionaire.

    p.s. The Hollywood DUI crowd – Hilton, Richie, Lohan et al – are also rich enough to afford a driver. How anxious are these ladies to see the inside of County Lock-up?

  4. 4 Joe
    July 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    You left out -bag in the quote.

  5. 5 Economic Friction
    July 24, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Surprised Novak hasn’t driven through a farmers’ market full of white folks yet…….also, last time I had to deal with him in person, he was a midday drinker and still driving himself around NW DC. That makes more sense.

  6. July 25, 2008 at 9:30 am

    Wasn’t Novak also the guy that outed Valerie Plame as a CIA agent? Karma’s a female dog…


  7. July 25, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Econ: I laughed out loud when I saw this last night when I read your comment. And I immediately went back to that episode of South Park — “Grey Dawn.” Novak always looked like a midday drinker. I need to find out where the midday drinkers are hanging out on my block. You’d think that stuff would be rampant on K.

    TW: Yes, yes he was. And Karma always comes to getcha in the end.

  8. 8 Economic Friction
    July 25, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    My Novak run in of the late 1990s was awesome; part of a week in DC where I got Jesse Helms to sign my baseball and Tom Clancy to call me a “dick.’

    Novak strikes me as someone who carries airline liquor bottles ‘in’, whether it’s a Marshall home FB game or a meeting of the Joint Economic Committee over at Rayburn or something. I keep getting deals in KY on the Tanq Gangpur Lime gin shots on clearance, and recommend same to all.

    ABCS = Always Be Carrying Shots

  9. 9 Paige
    July 25, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    You know what else is rampant on K, especially in the vicinity of 14th?


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