Me: god my belly hurts because it’s so funny to me to dress the animals
Me: i’ve become what i hate
Paige: you totally have
Me: i hang my head
Paige: you should!
Paige: you’re a 45 year old housewife from fond-du-lac, wisconsin.
Paige: next thing you know, you’ll be on the metro, wearing crocs
Paige: and carrying a PBS tote bag
Me: OH GOD KILL ME NOW!!
Paige: wearing mom jeans
Paige: with the 11 inch zipper
Paige: and pleats, for comfort
Paige: you will, of course, be wearing a sweater with cat appliques
Paige: and a whimsical thought bubble from a sleeping cat that says “I’m purrrrrrrrrrrfect!”
Me: i. am. crying.
Paige: did I mention you crochet on the metro?
Paige: you’d like to be able to knit, but metro police told confiscated your needles during rush hour.
Paige: they detained you for 4 hours of questioning
Paige: and then released you to the custody of your husband, a long haul teamster named Carl.
Me: IT HURTS!!!!
Me: I’m so putting this on my blog.
Paige: you don’t blog, Vivian
Paige: you only go online to find limited edition beanie babies on eBay.
Paige: Carl is going to take away your debit card.
Me: it’s true!!!
Paige: of course, to make up for the emotional hurt of your detainment by metro police, he’s going to buy you that special olympics 08 beanie you’ve had your eye on, and take you to Shoney’s for a nice all-you-care-to-eat buffet.
Paige: did I mention the special olympics beanie has a large head?
Me: OK. It’s like 10:30. Grandma needs to go to bed!!
Me: OH GOD IT’S ALREADY STARTING!!!!
Paige: you appreciate the diversity it adds to your collection. you will put it next to Darfur beanie and project (red) beanie.
Paige: g’night, Gramma!
Paige: no stripping, you hear?
Me: I’ll behave so I don’t get my bridge club privileges revoked.
Paige: no VFW bingo for you this week, young lady
Paige: night. 🙂