05
Apr
08

‘she was driving that golf cart like a bat out of hell’

Thank you Riverside County Deputy District Attorney Arthur Chang for today’s headline. And laugh-out-loud moment before noon.

Everybody knows that I love stupid drunk people stories.

Especially when drunk people drive.

And most especially when drunk people drive …. these.

Golf Cart

This morning while I found myself ass-deep in laundry, I started reading some stories from Fark.com and came across this gem.

Woman Who Crashed Golf Cart While Drunk Sentenced

You gotta love gated community parties gone wrong. Momma here got all tanked and put six kids on the golf cart and tore through the subdivision and hit the wall like Big E at the Daytona 500.

Too soon? Is it too soon for an inappropriate Dale Earndhardt joke?

Anyway, this woman blew a .15 and is set to spend the next six months in the pokey. Her Stepford friends are stepping up, though. One woman said it wasn’t that this woman was hammered when she crashed the cart, it was trash on the neighbor’s yard that caused the accident.

Well, HELLOOOOO? Where’s the freakin’ Homeowner’s Association on this one? I lived in a neighborhood with one of those. They’re fascists. There’s no way there was trash just willy-nilly all over the place. Those commie bastards would have been ALL over that faster than this woman had her third bellini and spilled a little Cointreau on her white capri pants.

But, I will say that I do like this as the kicker. In defense of her friend, another Stepford said this:

“I do know that we were in a hurry to get home.”

… Sigh.

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2 Responses to “‘she was driving that golf cart like a bat out of hell’”


  1. 1 Angela
    April 5, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    So funny! Oh, wait. That was me. 😦


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