Here in the Mountain State, we got a little thing we like to call “pride.”
These are two of our best examples. These two gentlemen — on the left, Bengals receiver Chris Henry and on the right Titans safety Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones — both used to wear the gold and blue of West Virginia University. They were … sigh … one of us.
But that was a different time. A different world, even. They’ve moved on. And unleashed a trail of destruction along the way.
Chris Henry just got fired. Pacman’s been … unemployed … for a while now.
But I have hope.
Now, come on. We all know where talented charged felons go to play football, right?
Cincinnati. Nashville. DALLAS!
That’s right, Cowboys fans. I need you on Team Trouble.
Can you even imagine the economic benefit of having these two guys in YOUR town? Back together again? To unleash havoc like nobody’s ever seen. And trust me, they’re just waiting for Michael Vick to make his triumphant return so the triumvirate is complete.
Your public safety and adult entertainment industries will boom with the arrival of these two.
So, consider it. Please. We want to see them do well, and I mean, where better for charged felons with no haven to go than Dallas? You collect them like McDonald’s Monopoly pieces there.
You embrace Michael Irvin. You can embrace these two.
Just give me a heads up. I don’t want to be around when my father’s head explodes.