05
Apr
08

Hey, Dallas? You listening?

Here in the Mountain State, we got a little thing we like to call “pride.”

Chris and Pac

These are two of our best examples. These two gentlemen — on the left, Bengals receiver Chris Henry and on the right Titans safety Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones — both used to wear the gold and blue of West Virginia University. They were … sigh … one of us.

But that was a different time. A different world, even. They’ve moved on. And unleashed a trail of destruction along the way.

Chris Henry just got fired. Pacman’s been … unemployed … for a while now.

But I have hope.

Now, come on. We all know where talented charged felons go to play football, right?

Cincinnati. Nashville. DALLAS!

That’s right, Cowboys fans. I need you on Team Trouble.

Can you even imagine the economic benefit of having these two guys in YOUR town? Back together again? To unleash havoc like nobody’s ever seen. And trust me, they’re just waiting for Michael Vick to make his triumphant return so the triumvirate is complete.

Your public safety and adult entertainment industries will boom with the arrival of these two.

So, consider it. Please. We want to see them do well, and I mean, where better for charged felons with no haven to go than Dallas? You collect them like McDonald’s Monopoly pieces there.

You embrace Michael Irvin. You can embrace these two.

Just give me a heads up. I don’t want to be around when my father’s head explodes.

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3 Responses to “Hey, Dallas? You listening?”


  1. 1 Shannon
    April 6, 2008 at 6:20 am

    Maybe if Dallas doesn’t pick them up, Henry could join Jones back in Team Pacman in the TNA. That seems to be the most fitting line of profession for these two, because if I’m a NFL owner, I would have a hard time justifying a multi-million dollar contract for either of these two players.

    They’ve been given multiple chances and perhaps now it’s time for pro wrestling to have them. Yes, Dixie Carter these are your next Jeff Jarrett, Sting, and Samoa Joe. Just imagine Team Pacman of Henry and Jones going up against the likes of Shark Boy or, more ideal, Black Reign.

    I’m all about giving people chances to succeed, but the thing about opportunities is that it’s a two-way street.

    So here’s to Team Pacman’s new home, we hope, in professional wrestling. Just make sure to keep the brass knuckles in the shorts.

  2. 2 Joe
    April 6, 2008 at 11:49 am

    And the NFL was thinking about making a rule about the length of players’ hair . . .

    America, what a country!

  3. April 6, 2008 at 11:52 am

    I know, right? You have these clowns unchecked running willy-nilly all over …

    And someone wants to bitch about hair length?

    I’d take a freak like Polamalu who I know has an impressive weave and gives me NO trouble over either of these guys. 🙂


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