and then … it’s nice and quiet

Wow, I really can’t seem to break free from 1995 Bjork!

In trying to download a picture from my e-mail, I enjoyed this delicious nugget of technology from Google:

“Detailed Technical Info.”

Numeric  Code: 67.

I don’t know about you, but I’m overwhelmed with the detailed technical info relating to GoogleFail.

But, I digress.

As I got on a Red Line to Glenmont after 7 tonight, it was next to empty. Seriously, on average, there are more people on that train on a normal weekday than were on it tonight. When I transferred at Fort Totten, I ended up waiting only two minutes before an even more empty train to Greenbelt showed up. Quite, quite different than this morning.

I stared straight ahead, my head heavy, my eyes tired and my brain going over a million different things I’ve got swimming around in my head right now. I didn’t even realize I’d reached Greenbelt until the lights flickered and it registered that the driver said the train was out of service.

When I walked toward the door, I looked at the station map they post on the inside of the car. Someone added a stop.

I’ve been to Tripset. It’s nothing to write home about. Today, though, it was.

ain’t that america?

I’d say it is.

You know what else is America? I just heard on WTOP that a 68-year-old woman got hit by a train at Gallery Place-Chinatown, and she’s alive and kickin’. She now replaces Chuck Norris and Dick Cheney as someone you should fear.

“Getting hit by a train doesn’t make her dead, it makes her angry she’s missing the Inauguration.”

good morning, sunshine

As promised, and brought to you by the power of BlackBerry, here’s a look at my morning trip into Washington, D.C., via Metro rail, Inauguration Day 2009.

“The following events take place between almost 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. … “

5:47 a.m.: WTOP reports that the Greenbelt lot is closed. Left the apartment at 5:30. Still at least two miles from the station. Apparently, this isn’t a WTOP crowd because nobody’s bailing out.

POOL'S CLOSED!!

5:57 a.m.: Bailout on Greenbelt. Head to College Park.

“It’s 6 o’clock.” Yes. I know, WTOP. I know.

6:23 a.m.: On a downtown bound train after only a two minute wait at the College Park platform. A blonde girl in her black-sequined beret asks female traveling companion if “this hat is too black?” This tells me a lot about today. A lot. Middle-aged white guy tells crowd he’s with about his extensive time in Afghanistan on a peace mission and then says, “We’re going to right a lot of wrongs today.” Yes, Mr. Hip and Trendy Do-Gooder. This inauguration totally fixes both that awful, awful period of slavery before the Civil War and the 1960s. Ass. I absolutely hate this person and I don’t even know him.

6:36 a.m.: Aboard a Red delayed at Fort Totten for a “malfuntioning train” at Brookland (Read some touron got a kid or an arm stuck in the door and now they have to offload the train.). I’ve been pushed out of any way to hold on to anything so I am just going to fall on people for a “teaching moment.”

This train is totally full ... OR IS IT?!!

6:42 a.m.: Finally moving. I have severe, lingering dread about the next few stops, especially because of the pissed off offloaded people at Brookland.

6:47 a.m.: Dear Connecticut High School kids — wait for the next effing train. It’s painfully obvious this one is at 600 percent capacity.

6:48 a.m.: Dear Tourons — Let me help you out: THERE IS NO MORE ROOM ON THIS F@*KING TRAIN. DO NOT EVEN TRY IT. YOU BREAK THESE DOORS, I WILL GET ARRESTED BEATING YOU SENSELESS ON THE PLATFORM. That is all.

6:51 a.m.: I no longer have to hold on to anything because I am sandwiched between so many idiots who thought packing 400 people onto a single Metro card was a good idea. A woman in a fuzzy hat looks at me and says, “Cheer up! We’re all here for the same reason!” I said “I’m a McCain voter and I’m just trying to get to work.”

6:59 a.m.: Train practically empties by the time I get to Metro Center for people to catch Orange/Blue. I am opting to stay Red and hit Farragut North and some breakfast on the way. Mmm. Bacon.

7:03 a.m. Farragut North: Finally off that disaster. And PETA protestors to boot!! People in furry bunny costumes. Suddenly craving sausage.